


Cold

by opal_sapphire



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opal_sapphire/pseuds/opal_sapphire
Summary: My entry for your-highnessmarvel's writing challenge on tumblr.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Kudos: 44





	Cold

It was cold, watching the sunrise. You hadn't slept again. You couldn't, not with him gone. He had gone to a place you couldn't follow. And God, how you wanted to follow him. You would've gone anywhere with him, and he'd gone and left you stuck here, alone.

It was cold, going through the motions of the day. Your routine was simple: watch the sunrise, eat, drink, float around like a ghost, watch the sunset, watch the moon and stars. Some nights you mixed it up by crying. Some nights you screamed. Most nights you stayed silent.

It was cold, watching the sunset. You used to watch it together. No matter where you were, no matter what you were doing, you always took the time to watch the sunset. The habit was so deeply ingrained in you, you didn't think you could stop even if you tried. The first time you watched the sunset alone, you swore you still felt his presence with you. Sometimes you still felt it. It drove you crazy.

It was cold, watching the moon and stars. He used to point out the constellations, name the stars they were made of. Some of those stars were planets. He told you stories of the ones he'd been to, the people living there, what it was like. He'd promised you he'd take you with him someday. He never did.

Your friends visited you for a while. They tried to make sure you were okay. You all knew you weren't. You never would be. His brother visited you once. You had both come to a silent, mutual understanding that seeing each other just reminded you of him too much. All you could see were those last moments on that ship, and it killed what was left of you each time. He didn't come back.

You hated your bed. You never slept in it anymore. It was too big for you, there was too much empty space around you. You should sell it. You couldn't bring yourself to. You can still smell him on the sheets. Though the memories are too painful, you just can't get rid of it. You sleep on the couch when exhaustion takes you.

You blink. It's sunset. You don't remember the day going by. You don't even remember watching the night sky this time. You wish you could just leap into the sun, warm yourself back up in its rays one more time. It turns a reddish orange as it begins to dip below the horizon. You almost feel like you can reach out and touch it. You hold your hand out towards it and close your eyes.

You can feel him again. It's like he's standing right behind you. You swear he's putting a hand on your waist, taking your outstretched hand with the other. He's pressing himself against your back, holding on to you, and you let him. You let yourself go in this fantasy, you let yourself imagine that's he's truly here with you in this moment, watching another sunset with you like always. The tears come again, and you let them again.

"I miss you," you whisper.

"I know," he whispers back, right in your ear.

You freeze. He never responds to you in your fantasies. You feel him, but you never see him, never hear him. You open your eyes.

You see a hand holding your outstretched one. His hand. You look down at your waist, and see him holding you. You lower your arm, and he slides his hand along it up to your shoulder and down to your waist. You turn in his grip and see him standing there, right in front of you, for the first time in years.

He looks the same as you last saw him. Only, the cuts and bruises and dirt are all gone. You place your hand on his chest, over his heart, and you watch his chest rise and fall with every breath. You can feel his heart beating beneath your hand. He watches you, expression soft, patient.

You finally look back up at him, studying his face as you raise your other hand and touch his face. You're afraid to break the illusion. You're caught off guard, and you don't want this to end. He's still holding you, still standing there and letting you do whatever.

You stop and look him in the eyes. Your voice is quiet and solemn. "You're real?"

Loki's grip on you tightens just slightly. "I'm real."

You watch him, waiting. For him to disappear, for you to blink and him to be gone, for you to wake up from this dream. Nothing happens. The last bits of sunlight begin to fade as you rest your head on his shoulder and hold him. The tears are still coming, more so now, but you're quiet. The only sign of distress is you're shaking.

You let Loki take you to bed. You fall asleep quickly, exhausted yet again, and you wake up to find he's still there. He's with you the whole day. He watches the sunrise with you. He's there with you through the day. He watches the sunset again with you, and tells you everything that's happened instead of pointing out stars and constellations. It takes the whole night, and you miss the sunrise for the first time in a long time because of it.

Only now do you believe he's not an illusion. He's real. He's home. He won't leave you here alone again.

It's not so cold anymore.


End file.
